gratitude Archives - Lexical Abandon

Thankful Thursday: January 2019

Welcome to the twenty-second installment of my Thankful Thursday series – starting this month, I’ve decided to do it monthly! A little easier to synthesize what I’m thankful for and lessons I’ve learned, and it also helps me because of my giant course-load at grad school right now. ‘Cause let me tell you, 13 hour days 3 days a week is cray, and so is traveling out to UBC 4 days a week (case and point: I started writing this on Thursday and it’s now Tuesday that I’m posting).

This month, I’m focusing on gratitude for the start I’ve had to this new year. It’s been a great start to my second semester of grad school (despite the crazy workload), and I’ve made some more progress on the somatic symptoms of my anxiety this month as well.

Here’s my Thankful Thursday for the month of January!

Things I am thankful for over this month:

The weather. It has been the least-rainy January here in my recent memory.

Amazing sunset upon arrival at work.
A few minutes later.
From a sunny run.
Snow-capped mountains at work.
More sunny running!
January beaching!

Related to the nice weather, we’ve got daffodils earlier than ever before.

I started my half-marathon training program, to prepare for running my third BMO Vancouver Half Marathon in May, and my second Scotiabank Half Marathon in June (half marathons 5 and 6 in total!). It’s been going really well, and I’ve had some lovely meditation time on the seawall, (mostly at 5:45 am thanks to my schedule, so not as many photos as usual!).

Third beach, right before a bald eagle swooped over me.
Sunset beach, running home from counselling.
One of those 5:45 am visits to English Bay.

I visited my parents in Calgary and for Christmas they got me this reading shawl from Indigo that is LIFE:

The fog has been AMAZING.

A view of the city, reaching up above the fog, from the mountains of the British Properties.
Closer up.

Joy took me to Botanist and we shared an “experiential drink” called Deep Cove. They actually blow the glasses into pieces of found driftwood so that they fit perfectly!

And the main theme of this post, mental health wins in January.

Dermatillomania

I’ve talked about this before on Instagram, but not much on the blog yet. I have dermatillomania, a mental health disorder characterized by picking at imperfections/zits/scabs etc. on the skin. For me, this means I primarily pick at my acne on my chin and forehead, often without even noticing it, and especially when I am distracted or anxious. I do it most often when I am reading or driving.

A friend suggested gel manicures as a possible solution – having longer nails makes it more difficult to actually pick. I’ve been experimenting with gel nails for a few years now to help with how brittle my nails are (an annoying side-effect of low thyroid and iron). I’d never really noticed the link between my picking frequency and my nails before, but I’m definitely noticing it now. That’s my first mental health win for January!

And it’s super nice that the manicure I currently have has been going strong for 6 weeks now! Here’s a little chronological collage:

Top left: First day; Top right: four weeks (usually the longest it lasts); Bottom left: five weeks; Bottom right: six weeks

Seasonal Affective Disorder

My second mental health win for January is that I seem to be beating Seasonal Affective Disorder! Last Winter was a particularly bad one for SAD for me. I think it was partly because my thyroid levels were low and I didn’t know it, but this year I’ve started taking vitamin D every day, and I think it’s helping. Or at least the placebo effect is! I’m also working hard to keep exercising and to get enough sleep, so that helps too.

There you have it!

So, that’s my Thankful Thursday list for this month. I hope it inspires you to make your own, and get on that gratitude train!

Peace and love,

Bee

Thankful Thursday Special Edition: Autumn 2018

Welcome to the twenty-first instalment of my Thankful Thursday series, a special edition expressing gratitude for Autumn! How fitting is it that today, a Thursday, is officially the last day of Autumn for 2018? Winter Solstice is tomorrow, and gosh am I ready for the days to start getting longer again.

This week, I’m focusing on gratitude for the beautiful Autumn we’ve had this year in Vancouver, and for the growth I’ve been able to manifest this season.

Here’s my Thankful Thursday for the Autumn season!

Things I am thankful for over this autumn season:

The weather. Of course, in Vancouver style, we’ve had our fair share of rain. (Remember the 80mm we got last Tuesday? I don’t want to. ) However, this year was pretty good compared to last year… THIS was last autumn in Vancouver: 27 days of rain in November and 28 days of rain in October.
Image by @grantlawrencecbc on Instagram.

The new flagship Indigo store opened around the corner from our apartment. This is bad for my wallet and good for my soul. I’ve already, on two separate occasions, been walking by and just stepped in to take a whiff for 30 seconds. If you know, you know. They also have a Starbucks!

I managed to juggle coaching rugby on the weekends, taking two in-person classes at UBC to start my Masters, and working full-time in West Vancouver.
I kept up an exercise routine, working out 5-6 times per week.
I didn’t have any panic attacks.

And the main purpose of this post, Autumn 2018 in Vancouver: A photo essay.

September 21-30.

Stanley Park and the West End.

UBC.

Back to the seawall.

October.

UBC.

More seawall.

Back to UBC. I’m sensing a pattern here.

And back to the seawall.

West End.

Crazy sunrise on the seawall.

And back to UBC for another evening.

A gorgeous weekend in Kamloops for rugby.

English Bay, Second Beach, and the West End.

A visit to a friend’s with beautiful views.

At work in the rain, even that’s pretty.

November.

Back at UBC.

Another seawall dump.

West Vancouver.

Freaky sunset in Yaletown.

More seawall.

December.

UBC.

My last seawall visit of Autumn.

Pockets of sunlight and cozy in the midst of dreariness.

A gorgeous sunrise upon arrival at work to end it off.

Here’s to a Winter of chasing more light and getting even cozier.

And hopefully getting back to blogging more regularly, but with three courses this semester instead of two, we’ll see.

There you have it!

So, that’s my Thankful Thursday list for this season. I hope it inspires you to make your own, and get on that gratitude train!

Peace and love,

Bee

Thankful Thursday 20: Being Mindful

Welcome to the twentieth instalment of my Thankful Thursday series, Being Mindful! This week’s post has a lot to do with last week’s – I’m sensing a theme.

I have arrived – I’m posting this on Thursday! But how is it possible that it’s already week 20?! This week, I’m focusing on gratitude for learning to be mindful.

Here’s my Thankful Thursday for the week of September 21 – September 27, 2018!

Things I am thankful for over the past week:

I decided to run this week’s 10k on Friday because I felt great after work. This relates to last week’s post about listening to my body. I usually plan to do my longer runs on the weekend for a lot of reasons. Mainly because:
1. My half-marathon training programs always put the longest run on Sunday, as that is usually the day of the week that races fall on.
2. I tend to have more energy on the weekends and not early in the morning before work or after a full day of work and/or school.

This week, for some reason I felt awesome on Friday and decided to do my 10k before the forecasted 75mm of rain that fell over the weekend. It went awesome – I beat my previous PB by 3 minutes! The rain ended up starting when I was at about the 5k mark, but it was gorgeous:

I took this photo in colour and it turned out almost completely grey, I love it.

I had a recording session with my client (for school, not a real client) on campus on Saturday. I’ll never get over how gorgeous it is there during the fall. Some examples:

I got to meet my fur-niece, Luna. HOW CUTE?!??!!?!!!

She is a blue merle miniature Australian shepherd.

Rugby on Sunday morning was NOT RAINY and super fun. The Capilano youth women went 3-1 at the U19 level and 3-0-1 at the U16 level!

My two classes went really well at UBC, and after Tuesday’s class, I SAW AN OWL! It was amazing.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t a snowy owl like Hedwig, but it certainly looks like one due to the light in this photo!

Over the past few days (Monday until now) it’s been gloriously sunny and feels a lot more like Vancouver’s typical September weather. After two weeks of rain, it’s fabulous.
My school held their annual Terry Fox Run this morning, and I ran it. I was the first teacher to finished, and beat the 1k record on my running watch! I ran for my friend Stephanie, who is currently fighting brain cancer.

And finally, the theme for this week, Being Mindful!

My two profs this semester are both focusing on teaching us mindfulness. The program in general sees it as very important for counsellors in training, and I totally agree.

Mindfulness, drilled down to its most essential, is noticing without judgment, or focusing one’s awareness on the current moment with compassion.

Often practicing mindfulness is a form of meditation. You can try to notice things that are happening in your body, or just notice your thoughts without judging them. At the start of every class, we do a short mindfulness practice, and I’m really loving it. I’m going to try to do it more on my own – as a practice, it’s best to do it every day, even just for a short time.

I’m finding that thanks to this practice, I’m feeling a bit less anxious. I also think that I’m finding it easier to eat mindfully and listen to my body, especially when I’m choosing workouts.

There you have it!

So, that’s my Thankful Thursday list for this week. I hope it inspires you to make your own, and get on that gratitude train!

Peace and love,

Bee

Thankful Thursday 19: Listening to my Body

Welcome to the nineteenth instalment of my Thankful Thursday series, Listening to my Body!

Here I am on a Friday again, wondering how it’s been a week since last time. And wondering how I’m on week 19! This week, I’m focusing on gratitude for learning to listen to my body.

Here’s my Thankful Thursday for the week of September 14 – September 20, 2018!

Things I am thankful for over the past week:

I’ve run a 10k once a week as one of my cardio sessions, and this Saturday’s was wet and wonderful.

Just past Second Beach and the outdoor pool.

The section of the seawall between Prospect Point and the Lions Gate is my favourite.

I get the most beautiful view of the Lions Gate right at my 5k turn-around point.

My best friend Joy took me to Teppenyaki for the first time on Saturday evening. We got a super great Groupon deal, and the food was amazing! I was really enjoying being present throughout the experience and only got one (not so great) photo.

We had a beautiful, sunny, fall Monday afternoon. I took advantage by going for a walk when I got home from work. Fortunately, my tutoring session was cancelled which meant that I was home while the sun was still out. I even got to take one of my huge leaf photos like I mentioned was in the works in my last post!

It’s not the biggest one I’ve ever seen, but as we’re getting a major rainstorm this weekend, I’m sure I’ll have more to choose from in the coming days.

This week was busy, with the first rugby games of the season on Sunday, my two regular classes at UBC on Tuesday and Wednesday, and then Meet the Teacher night yesterday. They all went quite well (despite the rugby being exceedingly wet).
I’ve accomplished my goal of staying on top of my readings for school, prep work, and marking for teaching for another week!

And finally, the theme for this week, Listening to my Body!

As a person who really loves routine, and who also sets rather high standards for herself, I often find it hard to let things slide.

Missing a workout, for example, can lead to me berating myself in my head and trying to make up for it on another day by doing more than I normally would.

It also means that even though I have an inordinate amount of stuff on my plate, I still expect myself to be able to keep the kitchen clean, tidy the apartment, keep up with my exercise program, blog, work on creative endeavours, and have time to myself. Oh, and spend time with my husband. Aiya.

As I mentioned in my post last week about coping, I have definitely recognized that this new full-time work + part-time grad school + coaching gig is taking a lot out of me. And I’m coping with it. But I’m also learning to listen to my body better. That’s what I want to focus my gratitude on this week.

What listening to my body has looked like:

Not scheduling my BBG workouts and runs a week in advance. I’m planning a big post on intuitive exercise that I’m excited about! I don’t want to get too much into that, but I’m used to planning a workout schedule in advance. Then, I tend to ignore how I feel and just blast it out regardless so that it gets done. This week, I’ve been choosing my workouts on the fly, and it feels so good.
In the same vein, taking two mornings this week to sleep in for about an hour instead of getting up to work out. I made one of those days my full-on rest day. On the other, I worked out in the afternoon instead, when I was feeling energized.
Lightening up my BBG workouts – listening to my energy levels and taking a bit more rest when I was feeling really tired instead of pushing through for more reps.
Eating at more regular intervals. The high school block rotation is not conducive to fueling your body when it needs it. I eat breakfast at around 6:45, and lunch break is not until 12:50. I’ve been consciously packing healthy snacks that I can easily eat between classes at 10 and 11:20. And I’m only eating when I’m hungry.
Not doing the dishes at all. Like I mentioned, it was a busier-than-usual-busy week. I got home after 8:30pm three days in a row, having left the apartment by 7am. I unpacked my things and curled up into bed with a book. And some chocolate on Thursday, thanks to my hubs!
Leaving the definitely dry laundry on the drying racks for three days.

I’m going to be focusing on listening to my body more and more as the weeks go by. I know it’s a big part of why I wake up most mornings feeling motivated and ready to go during this draining time. I also think it’s a huge contributor to the fact that 3/4 of my closest work colleagues have been pretty sick this week and I have not gotten it. Cross your fingers, though, those whiteboard markers are deadly contaminants!

There you have it!

So, that’s my Thankful Thursday list for this week. I hope it inspires you to make your own, and get on that gratitude train!

Peace and love,

Bee

Thankful Thursday 18: Coping

Welcome to the eighteenth instalment of my Thankful Thursday series, Coping!

Hard to believe, Thursday came around again (and went again just as quickly). This week, I’m focusing on gratitude for coping.

Here’s my Thankful Thursday for the week of September 7 – September 13, 2018!

Things I am thankful for over the past week:

To start off my week, I had a busy Friday, with work, an appointment, and my grad school department orientation. I was a bit apprehensive about the thing, because it was several hours long and involved a lot of socializing with new people, but I handled it well.
I then had a lovely weekend! A short run on a beautifully grey Saturday morning:

Followed by an afternoon jaunt. I took this photo because I looked up and just thought, “Man, that’s pretty.” I need to take more moments to appreciate and be thankful for how amazingly pretty my everyday surroundings are.

I’m struggling with this abrupt transition to fall that we’re having here in Vancouver. It seems like we went from 30 degrees, to 30 degrees and smoke, to COLD and WET. However, I do love the leaves. It’s almost time to take my annual huge leaf photo!

My latest gel manicure lasted almost an entire month, and after removing it, my nails were long and fresh for the first time in forever. I have a lot more to say about this because of my chronic health issues and my BFRB, but I’ll save that for its own post.

Naturally, in true Murphy’s Law Becca style, I broke my middle finger nail on a binder right before taking this photo. It had been just as long as the others.

I also had a lovely long 10k Sunday run, albeit very wet. This view at super low tide was a treat:

And finally, the theme for this week, Coping!

This week I’m feeling really grateful for the coping I’m managing to do. It’s not glamorous, but it’s important. In a time when everyone seems to be talking about self-care in terms of bubble baths and face masks, it’s important to remember that self-care is often boring.

It has been a very busy week, and that’s not going to let up for me any time soon. Very busy is the new normal, for the next two-plus years. For now, during this intense adjustment period, I’m coping. And that’s self-care. Boring self-care, but self-care regardless.

Some things I have done to cope this week:

Be in bed (not necessarily going to sleep, but at least ready for sleep and under the covers, usually reading) by 9pm most nights.
Still getting up at 5:30 and doing my planned workouts and runs before work. Except on Wednesday, when I listened to my body telling me it was exhausted and slept in instead.
Waiting in line at Starbucks for 20 minutes for a PSL I’d been looking forward to and craving all day. Taking the time to just relax and enjoy being a human being while waiting in line.
Appreciate the sound of the pouring rain.
Wear cozy sweaters to work where it is now as cold as a walk-in freezer.
Bullet journal to keep organized.
Work away at my grad school readings a little at a time.
Play games on my phone when I need to zone out.
Take showers that are a little longer than usual and just enjoy standing in the hot water.
Listen to podcasts on my drive to and from UBC.
Stay on top of my work e-mail.
Do the dishes as soon as I get home after work or class so that I can have a clean kitchen to pack my lunch/dinner in the next morning.

I’m busy, and I’ve got a lot of stressful things going on, but I’m coping. I’m not exhausted, I’m challenged. And most of the time, I’m enjoying myself!

There you have it!

So, that’s my Thankful Thursday list for this week. I hope it inspires you to make your own, and get on that gratitude train!

Peace and love,

Bee

And the main theme of this post, mental health wins in January.

Dermatillomania

Seasonal Affective Disorder

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And the main purpose of this post, Autumn 2018 in Vancouver: A photo essay.

September 21-30.

October.

November.

December.

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And finally, the theme for this week, Being Mindful!

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And finally, the theme for this week, Listening to my Body!

What listening to my body has looked like:

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And finally, the theme for this week, Coping!

Some things I have done to cope this week:

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